Sunday, January 31, 2010

From Goop to Drip: Zombie Osmosis

Three p.m. Friday afternoon: Board member walks through hallway, sees wall bubbling in the hall. OMG. The trek to the zombie basement was quick.

"We have a bad water leak! The wall is growing pouches and when you push the bubbles, water swishes in the plaster!"

Efficiency devices halfway installed. Big piles of computers getting downloads. All this handled by a corporation of outside consultants, not the Zombie Basement Dwellers. The ZBD are free to tackle this.

"I'll call somebody," Zombie Secretary promises. "But I don't know where they are."
"How Are you?" another assistant asks. "I like your blouse."
"Look, our computers are mostly installed." The Head Zombie walks in.

"It's three p.m. on Friday," I say. "We have a bad common area leak. Can somebody go look at it now?"

"I ordered the notebooks you requested," Zombie Secretary promises. I asked for them yesterday, in January, February, March, April, May, and June, (skipped July), August, Sept, and October of 2009. So, good. Efficiency rocks.

Over the next two hours, various ZBDs shamble up by way of elevator and stairwell. One maintenance man is popping bubbles with his keys and wiping up the water. The keys leave grime stains and pock marks.
"Gonna have to take an axe to this wall," the other one says. They walk off, muttering umyeah-umyeah-um.
There is no sign of an explorer mission to the source. Then it's five o'clock.

I have had my eye on this wall all weekend. So far, the leak has not accelerated--although, it looks much worse.
Zombie heads will roll--photo, BBC/AFP.

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