Thursday, January 28, 2010

This Is Your Lucky Day

Reading Palms
The third story of the pictured building is the consultation room of a woman whom I will call The Gypsy. In the summer, The Gypsy sits outside in one of two yardchairs and tells fortunes to drunk marks for $5.00 each. Once, on my way to the grocery store, her mother offered to tell my fortune for free. She divined that a 'great weight' had settled on me, blocking my luck. A Very Serious Situation.

This great grey cloud would go away with a candle ceremony, conducted with a Catholic priest's help, and it would only cost me $1,000.00. The money would go in a box, sit on a priest's altar, and be blessed by the saints and the smoke of many candles. My life would be purified and my barriers would crumble. My Luck would Return! Participation was not required. She would take care of everything.

I told her I didn't think so. Finally she decided that $181.00 would be enough to satisfy the candlemaker, the priest, all the saints and leave a few pennies for The Gypsy's Mom. With a discount like that, I figured only one-fifth of that cloud would be lifted, so I told her no thanks. I did pay her $5.00 though. This story cost me a voluntary $5.00, and I can tell it over and over, although, not to the same people twice.

Doubled Down
One week, my husband and I visited New Orleans. We were walking down Bourbon Street, which is of course an inevitable consequence of going to New Orleans. A woman came up to us in the light of the street lamps. She was dressed in baggy jeans and a t-shirt. Her hair was not styled and she was neither ugly nor attractive. But the silver on her eyelids glinted in the lights of Bourbon Street. She looked up into my husband's face and breathed,

"Today is your lucky day."

She was mesmerizing. We followed her into a shabby storefront. I swear it was the silver eyelids.

A thin balding man who looked like the biggest loser ever stood behind a cheap counter made of old paneling and Formica. He held a dice cup in his right hand. We had a chance to win a prize. All of the prizes were on shelves along the back wall, which was a scabrous green. All of the boxed prizes were covered in a good half-inch of dust.

We got five rolls of the dice for free. Unbelievable! It really was our lucky day. Or night, really.
The man counted the dice so fast we were sure he was miscounting. We even tried to ask, but he just kept rolling, counting, putting the dice back in the cup. It was a lot of dice. And he was satisfied.
And we were Winning.

Then we had the opportunity to Double Down for two dollars. We had the chance to Double Down again. Finally we were at octuple chances for the prize! Oh, Wow, it was Our Lucky Day! And it only cost Eight Dollars for Eight Chances! We only needed thirty-eight more points!
My husband started to laugh. "No, thanks."

We would have run faster, except we were laughing too hard.

I was afraid to be in New Orleans streets after dark, so I had limited the amount of money in my bag before we left the hotel. We counted up our respective cash after Silver Eyelids and The Counter Man had their chance at it. One of the best $20.00 lessons ever. And hey, we were Doubled Down. Two of us learned it for the price of one.


Bob G. said...

Glad you mentioned that this happened in New Orleans...

For a moment, I thought you and hubby were visiting CAPITOL HILL...!

Good post.
(and keep watching BOTH hands)


RD said...


The topical variety of your interesting posts continue to amaze.

Ann T. said...

Dear RD,
That is a lovely compliment and I thank you for it.

Very sincerely,
Ann T.

Ann T. said...

Dear Bob G.,
I've been learning from many of the police and tactical bloggers in my roll that you have to watch hands.

Thanks for the timely reminder!
Ann T.

BobKat said...

Ann T... what I just read was extraordinary!!! Like the dice, when I use the word "extraordinary", I learned, after time and again misspelling it, that it's simply adding "extra" and "ordinary" together.

I find your writing to be lined with silver... and it takes me in.

And speaking of New Orleans... never been there until now - thanks for the trip!

Edith Bunker said...

I was recently invited to a gathering with the "Goddess" for a seance/reading cards type thing. The donation was hefty and I guess the goddess and her helpers hit attendees up for more during the course of the mystic evening; had I attended I probably wouldn't have made it out with my cash intact, I can be a major chump that way. Anyhow, a dollar saved is a dollar earned to spend on shoes (goal achieved).

Ann T. said...

Dear BobKat,
I am so glad you enjoyed it. Thanks for writing in!

Dear Mrs. Bunker,
My problem is as stated above--I am curious about what comes next and will pay the price required to get a story.

However, I am also very cheap. Once I attended a seminar with a lady who said she could help me self-actualize(another scam, self-actual, what else would we be?). unfortunately, she also told us that the floaters in our eyes were signs of mystical power, so she received not a dime.

Better to buy good shoes and make stuff up,
Want to meet the Goddess. which goddess?

Ann T.