Saturday, March 6, 2010

Acceptable Instantaneous Compromise

I was late to the closing on my condo. I'd gotten the middle of my new hometown. I parked, grabbed the cat's travel box, my handbag, my briefcase and ran.

As I neared my destination, I noticed a white-haired, white-bearded homeless white man in full spate between me and the door I needed. I headed pell-mell toward him anyway. Screaming or not, he looked too involved to come after me.

As I ran closer, I could hear him. "I Am God! I Am God! I Am God!

Whoops. Religion ups the stakes, too much. I slowed down. But he'd singled me out too. He turned to me.

"I Am God!"

A million things crowded my mind, such as: Nope/I Hope Not/Blasphemy/Delusions of Grandeur/Don't Agree With a Crazy Man When He's Wrong/ Don't Disagree With a Crazy Man When He's Riled/ Don't Tell A Lie

"Well, you're certainly full of the spirit, anyway," I answered.

Wonder of wonders: he calmed down. "Yes, I am," he said. "I am full of the spirit."

Made it to the closing with the cat and all. I don't know why I was worried--I was the woman with the checkbook.


Bob G. said...

That was a fine response...
(and he was DERFINITELY full of the "spirit"..perhaps that should be PLURAL)

I'd probably just pass by quickly saying "Hi, I'm your RIGHT we doin'?"

I have seen my share of "unique" people in the downtown areas of a few cities...and even a couple in regular neighborhoods.
The "duck lady" of Philly comes to mind.

Keep your friends close...and that checkbook CLOSER - (Sun Tzu's wife)


Ann T. said...

You are always cracking me up. Sun Tzu's wife and the split personality!
Ann T.