Monday, March 8, 2010

Freeze-Ray Stunner ensures Zombies Struck Dumb!

Ann T., The Only Fiscally Sane Leader On the Planet
For sixteen months--in the quest for Truth, Justice and Fiscal Solvency--I have been contending with the Zombies in the basement. Oh, the dreck! The miasma! The umyeah umyeah um!

Do Not Despair, My Treasurer! A New Arsenal Has Been Found!
Well, hmmm. A month has passed since my last combat report, but various engagements have occurred.  The zombies have proven impervious to the Will to Succeed.  Presidential Pressure has not worked. The Fear of Embarrassment has proven useless. So I have this new weapon. It's called Management By Objectives. No doubt you've heard of it? No one in the basement has.

Ann T. Fires Opening Freeze-Ray Salvo
I sent a letter. Rapid summary: "My expectation is that the meeting will begin at 11 a.m. My expectation is that (Report A) and (Group B) will have been prepared according to the specifications noted in my previous letter of March 3 entitled "Collections Meeting". (Talk about a wasted meeting.) I look forward to seeing you this Tuesday."

Zombies May Be Slightly Miffed, New Sortie to Follow
Not One Word from the Zombies. I hope they were busy compiling Report A and Group B. More likely they are planning an attack that will leave me shambling amongst them. However, between the Freeze-Ray, the Management By Objectives, the Action Plan, and the New Unanimous Policy Motions I got from the Board on Friday and Monday, I may have an edge.

Other Zombie Obfuscation Tactics
I will be wearing lots of perfume to hide the smell of living flesh. Also I did not eat any meat today.  I will eat Melba toast and drink thin tea tomorrow for breakfast. And then I am going to town. I have the Truthful Ledgers coming in as reinforcements. 

It's going to be a cold day in hell. Wish me luck. Oh, I can't wait. 


Capt. Schmoe said...

Having just seen "Zombieland" for the second time, I have learned a few things about dealing with zombies.

Try dropping a piano on them from the third story or try disguising yourself as a zombie so you can get close and attack. The former was a zombie "kill of the week" and the latter worked for Bill Murray for a period of time. Too well actually.

Just remember that zombies are just hungry dullards who move pretty slow. In the end you will prevail.

Bob G. said...

Gonna be a little OBVIOUS dragging along that piano to drop, don'cha think?
I dunno if "Miss Ellen" would enjoy that...LOL

When in doubt...ALWAYS aim for the HEAD!
(that goes for buckhot, freeze rays, OR brute intellect)

Flash Gordon would be proud of 'ya!
(I know I am)


Ann T. said...

Dear Captain Schmoe,
i will keep the piano idea in reserve. So far I have been the piano, which has been a little hard on me in general.

Dear Bob,
Oh, the head shot--there has to BE a head first! But I think I did well.

LOL, and thanks for the new tactics,

Now aiming pianos at skulls,
Ann T.

Unknown said...

You know how much I hate zombies. BUT for you I'd be your sidekick. I need lotsa ammo tho. I love the headshots. splat!

Ann T. said...

Dear peedee,
Now THAT is a selfless offer!

However, maybe I need a Van Helsing-like person. You need not be in the field, but I may need Advice and Support from my Experts in Zombie Lore.

Send Piano,
Ann T.