Saturday, May 15, 2010

I Run a Country Club (Prison)

Adventures in Fine Dining
Two days ago I took my hellion BoyCat in for a persistent tummy-ache (Manifested by Mucho Gack) and general listlessness. This poor cat had that inward look: never a good sign.

He received Ringer's solution and an anti-nausea shot. The shot wore off at 3 a.m., and the Hellion gacked saline everywhere. Naturally, we went back the next day. He looked like he would die any minute.

Well, hmm, yesterday two stomachs were incised. Twenty four pony-tail holders, one green rubber band, and a sheet of cellophane were recovered. And here I thought he was interested in my chicken dinners and yogurt breakfasts. And I have TRIED to keep him off my desk--

Today I brought him home. He has a bald and stapled belly, a shaved place on one forearm, a no-worry collar, (which I removed since I am home) and general tiredness. He is eating though. I give him a little at a time.

The Queen of Spat.
However, GirlCat--normally a little princess, oblivious to all that does not suit her--is spitting mad, yowling, howling, growling, cursing and hissing. For some reason she does not want BoyCat around any longer and is a positive danger to his feeble person.

I assure you the evening we spent together as just girls was not at all special. There were no dancing Toms jumping out of fishcakes or anything like that.

She is in solitary confinement in the bathroom with all the amenities: food, water, catbox, chiffon shower curtain. There are no hair ties left, so this is safe. But I think I just heard the toothbrushes fall in there. When I take my shower in the morning I will be careful. She may be sharpening a toothbrush handle into a shiv. I wouldn't put it past her.

And poor Boy-Boy is devastated. He's cleaned her ears for her every day that I have known them. This favor is never reciprocated. And this is the thanks he gets.


Capt. Schmoe said...

Maybe Girl-Cat finally figured out where her missing pony tail holders went and is not happy with her discovery.

Ann T. said...

Dear Captain Schmoe,
That must be it!

Ann T.

Bob G. said...

And who said that cats weren't interesting to have as pets, eh?

I lost one male years ago to FUS, and our two "kids" (litter-mate male and female) are about 13 years young now, and "Penny" has half her fangs, while "Rassie" likes to "christen the drapes" (we're weaning him off of that by positive litterpan reinforcement w/ treats)

Always an adventure, and never a dull moment (even when they drool)...LOL

Ann T. said...

Dear Bob,
I put the no-scratch or eat stitches collar back on poor BoyCat last night since I was going to sleep, and, after all, he obviously will eat anything.

I kept hearing this 'clunk' 'clunk' in the dark as he would misjudge his entry through various passages of the house . . . poor baby . . . if he ever eats another hair tie I will kill him.

Ann T.

The Observer said...

Ann T:
Oh, how sad for BoyCat! I hope he is feeling better and does not have to wear "the cone of shame" for very long!

GirlCat might be put out because he came home smelling funny, like blood, vet's office, foreign people. Once he begins to smell like himself, they should be fine. I've seen this "back from the vet" hissy stuff myself. If BoyCat has been sitting on a towel or blanket (or clothing!), you might take that item into GirlCat to sniff.

Hopefully, he'll have learned something. Hopefully.

Take care!

The Observer

Ann T. said...

Dear The Observer,
You couldn't have written at a better time--

as GirlCat Still Spits
BoyCat is Still
Drugged Out of His Wits
and I was feeling
Stressed to Small Bits.

Thank you, I am hoping the hop-head vs. hothead scenario will soon be done.

Ann T.

The Observer said...

Ann T:
Your little rhyme
Came at a good time...

'Cause I wasn't drinking anything or I would have had to clean my computer screen!

Swing on by the photo blog as I have a dedicated post for you!

The Observer :-)

Ann T. said...

Dear The Observer,
THANK YOU!!! I don't know why seeing another cat in torturous cone bondage helps so much, but it does. I guess because it means this too will pass!

Muchas gracias,
Ann T. and the hop-head kitty boy

Unknown said...

OMG this is soooooo sad but sooooo funny!!! The comments are almost as good as the post!

I hope the siblings get their panties out of a wad. Soon!

Omnibabe said...

There's something about anesthesia that makes poor Boy Cat smell REALLY different. Girl Cat is reacting the way she is because her nose tells her he's an alien invader. As far as she's concerned, appearances LIE... but her nose never does.

Give it about a week, and life should return to normal.

Ann T. said...

Dear peedee,
Yes, now it is funny. B/C it's over! Someday I will tell you how hard it is to have your one bathroom be the prison of a fairy princess who keeps wiping her head on your feet like Mary Magdalene. You let her out and then she turns into a different Biblical character altogether.

Hoo, glad it's over,
Ann T.

Ann T. said...

Dear Omnibus Driver,
THANK YOU for stopping in!

I was afraid I'd raised the Bad Seed. Someone who incited poor BoyCat to eat hair ties and then hoped he'd die or something.

However, they are, as you say, getting along spankingly now. And

I am so proud of BoyCat! He has not taken one bit of interest in his stitches, and is therefore


of the cone!!

Come back any time!
Ann T.