Thursday, July 29, 2010

The Hotbed of Zombie Professionalism

This message from Tuesday's Meeting of the Board!
--Zombies Continue to make Shambles--

One of the Zombies on Staff happens to do maintenance:

He went up to a known trouble-making woman's unit,
who was not getting air conditioning. But she's leaving her blinds up, and her windows face south.
Temps are three-digit and the humidity, high.
(You're Daddy's rich, and your Ma is good-looking)

And he told her:
That the reason her a/c convector didn't work is because the convector capacity is too small for the unit.

Our board hired engineering consultants to make recommendations before requiring everyone in the building to buy updated convectors. They chose exactly that capacity for fifteen hundred bucks about five years ago.

So, there is nothing wrong with her convector capacity. It worked just great last year. But now she is convinced that the Board has screwed her over to the tune of fifteen hundred, when the right answers to her problem are
a. Close your blinds and
b. Buy a fan and
c. Stop drinking so much whiskey in the afternoon.

(So hush, little baby, don't you cry)

Coincidentally, at this same meeting, another owner is angry about convector units.  A year ago, Zombie Maintenance Guy tore their convector apart to clean it. He did this without obtaining authorization for major work, and charged one hundred fifty bucks. Also coincidentally, I am the board member that this same Zombie once told  "It is impossible to clean a convector unit." Therefore,  I "should not have either cats or potted plants."

Someday, all lies catch up to you. Before that, they catch everybody else.

And I have not even told you about the bedbugs. We will spend thousands to make sure we are not completely infested. From six units to two-hundred and fifty, unless we hire the exterminators with the trained beagle dogs that sniff them out. No! I do not have bed bugs! I don't want them either!

Zombies are more than enough for me.


photo from dot common sense blog
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17 comments:

Momma Fargo said...

Oh my. The pic scerred me. LOL.

Ann T. said...

Deaar Momma Fargo,
LOL!!! And yet I heard that the Boogie Man Was Your Friend!!!

Ha ha ha!
Ann T.

peedee said...

ewwwwwwww on the picture!

Bed bugs are no joke! I gots bit bad once in a hotel. yuck!

Gia's Spot said...

Sounds like it's time to outsource the maintainence job with an unbiased non-zombie or tell"Widow Jones to keep her window shades a pulled completly downnnn" (sung to the tune of Jeannie C. Riley's Harper Valley PTA) Jeesh where is WIll Smith when you need him??
Stay cool and keep your cool, Ann T.
Gia

Bob G. said...

Ann:
George Romero is smiling somewhere...
(and that scares me).

I used to work with A/C units, and you need to have the proper BTUs for the area covered...anything less is well...inefficient (and becomes part of the "costaplenty" realm).

The formula is figured out (or should be) whenever you have multiple units involved.
Ditto for office building and rooftop units.

Stand-alone residences are based of square footage versus "tonnage" (BTU equivalent) of the A/C unit.

One "ton" equals 16,000 BTUs for example, which works well for a place less than 800 sq. ft total.

Having the blinds open and that special kind of stupid, too.

In Ft. Wayne, we're ALSO seeing a bed bug infestation, primarity at hotels and motels.
But it wouldn't surprise me if a LOT of neighborhoods are suffereing as well.

With today's section 8 and HUD "transience", the chance of such "epidemics" is becoming easier.
ANd many people just don;t know HOW to keep their places clean...or just can't be bothered.

I've been in MY share of places, where, after you left, you wanted to take a week-long shower and burn your clothes...

ANd then, there ARE the refugees and ilegals coming into the country...that just HAS to figure into it somehow.

Keep tat zombie-ray handy!

The Bug said...

Seriously - if you're going to be a slack employee at least keep your stories straight LOL!

the observer said...

Ann T:
"Sleep tight and don't let the bedbugs bite." was frequently said as a bit of a joke. Now it's not a joke! Ick! (Although the fact that cute [if usually hyper] Beagles can sniff them out is kind of cool.)

As to the fibberlating maintaince Zombie, well, he needs to be zapped!

Stay cool and sweat free.
The Observer

Ann T. said...

Dear peedee,
Isn't it Gross???!! However, beautiful zombie pictures are in short supply!!

I had to go look at pictures of them on the Web in order to decide which pest control system we were going to implement.

Now THAT was the REAL EWWWWWWW!!

Bugz scare me,
Thanks, sister! Hope you're feeling better.

Ann T.

Ann T. said...

Dear Gia,
Oh, I hate the zombies. Would fire every one. Of course if we fired every one, then we'd have to scramble, so . . . we're trying but it has to go in steps.

And OMG, Harper Valley PTA!!
I love it!
Ann T.

Ann T. said...

Dear Bob,
Whew! We should have had you come out to advise us. However, we did get a raft of consultants out for this project (although, it was before my time on the Board).

I know we did get the right units. However, we have one energy-efficiency troll on the Board, who keeps nagging everyone to do without basic amenities.

My favorite all time e-mail from him was the one where he tried to convince everyone on the Board that a cold shower was actually quite enjoyable.

Considering we are a government with no police force, we do okay. But sheesh, I have learned something about politics in my three year tenure. And what I've learned does not always make me happy, ROFL!!!!!!

We have people travelling overseas and back. Apparently there's also a luggage vector with the bedbugs, too. Who would think it? Ick!!

Gotta go take a cold shower now,
Thanks for writing in!!!

Ann T.

Ann T. said...

Dear The Bug,
Oh, I know!!! For them it's just skating out of the moment. No consistency WhatSoEver.

Thanks for the support!
Ann T.

Ann T. said...

Dear The Observer,
Both you and Bob are advocating the Zap and so yes, I am charging it up!

I love that the beagles are going to do this work. To sniff out bugs!

I know they use them in customs, too. I want to see them in action!

Thanks for writing in,
Ann T.

Thanks for writing me too. I Do Appreciate all the trouble!

the observer said...

A.T.H.
No Trouble at all...;-)
T.O.

Argent said...

We are blissfully bedbug-free over here at the moment and most of the time we don't need AC, but year after year, we get closer to needing it. I'm all for energy-efficiancy, but cold showers? Nope, not going there. Good luck with your zombie infestation.

meleah rebeccah said...

Um.... that's the scariest photo EVER!!!!!

Ann T. said...

Dear Argent,
Sorry I didn't get to your comment sooner! I've been plugging away this weekend.

Thanks! I can definitely use the Luck. With the Zombies most of all. Although bedbugs also make me a wee bit paranoid.

Have a great week!
Ann T.

Ann T. said...

Dear meleah,
Zombie interdiction is a gross job! That's all I've got to say!

Have a great week.
Congratulations on your anniversary! You are one of my favorite reads, and it is amazing when people keep it up.

Must love to write, (naturally!)
xo
Ann T.