H W FWelcome to the HWF!! Horror Wrestling Federation!! Beamed every weekday live from the Ark House Condominium Arena, right here in HotWinds, USA!! And you're sure to see talent like never before!!!
We've got quite a match for you folks out there.
In this corner, we have: Zombie Assistant!! She's a famous villain--known to implement the Positivity SuckerSmack, the Credit-Stealing HammerLock--
Able to depress pretensions with one well-timed comment about a co-worker's body, hair, or clothes--a BodySlam, in other words--
And inventor of the unbelievably effective Snit--Lock!!
And in the other corner, we have: Georgina the Strong. Too bad she doesn't know it yet.
But she's been through hell on earth many times, and doesn't remember this is nothing compared to that.
She grew up in the Chicago projects, had an abusive husband and a drug habit, which she kicked both. She went on to become a home health aide, a strong mother, and dispenser of joy, cookies, and hugs to others--and Zombie Assistant's sometimes assistant.
The betting odds are low. Georgina's going to be a long shot to win. It's that Snit Lock, that Body Slam, that Hammerlock that get her every time. She just isn't ranked very high in the Horror Federation--
Enjoy the show, right here at the Ark House Auditorium! And your referee tonight, at the Ark House Arena, is Ann T. Hathaway. Go place your bets. Remember, the odds are long against Georgina. And odds are what we call "prevailing wisdom."
For more Zombies that Wrestle, go here to the WWE Night of the Living Dead! These people may be pikers compared to Zombie Assistant. Still, you get the idea!.
In case this isn't quite coherent--Zombie Assistant is putting her mood on everyone else. And I am going to stomp it quick.