Thursday, January 27, 2011

Zombie Soap Operas and Cat Tantrums

Well, these poor cats. They have all the food they want, and plenty of loving attention, a nice clean litter box, and more toys than I can find--
but they want more.

The idea that I would do laundry, fight zombies, disappear for Board Meetings for hours and hours! BoyCat laid himself on the rug in front of the front door, stretched across the entire doorway. He was just like a human chain stopping the Bulldozing of the Old-Growth Forest or the Family Farm.  He has also taking to mewing at the door--poor abandoned baby. I don't know how he stands life as he knows it.

Pets of a Different Sort
I had a near-suicide note from on person who owes us $1033.00 this week. I am stressing her out!! She can not pay her bill. She addressed the letter to Madame Ann H.
Please do not make me pay my bill.  I pay all bills on time. I never have late notices. I obey all rules at the ZombieLand Condominiums. I can not live with this stress. You must understand.

Well, unfortunately for her I do understand. I was mostly afraid she would come Emote over the entire Board last night, driving our meeting into the wee hours. Thankfully, she did not show up. The Board, in true gratitude for her non-attendance, forgave part of her charges. Next!!!

I had ten disputacious accounts to go over last night. I wrote them all up carefully, in consultation with Zombie Assistant. However, this morning I found out we have a burgeoning lawsuit which she forgot to tell me about in time for the meeting. She is very sorry. (Grrrr.)

I handled that today . . . .

I know you Midwestern sufferers of winter will find this amusingly minor, but we had three inches of snow this evening.  Slippery, rainy slush--dirty on impact. Oh, the suffering! I address this letter to the Estimable Groundhog:

Please do not see your shadow on Groundhog Day. I try to conserve energy. I wear many sweaters. I obey all rules at the Zombieland Condominium. I cannot live with this stress. You must understand.
Sorry gang, this is what I have today. I am working up a couple thematic series, but they aren't ready yet. In the meantime, I'm afraid not to let you know what's up, so . . . you get these Soap Operas and Tantrums. Hopefully they will make you laugh. They make me laugh.


CWMartin said...

Welcome to my world- where no vital info can be passed on until AFTER you've messed something up!

Carolina Linthead said...

Thank you, Ann T.! You made me smile, esp. with your emotional appeal to the groundhog.

Bob G. said...

Yeah...more snow....more YUCK.

As to the stressed person...
She needs to get on some type of payment PLAN...prehaps a referral to a financial advisor is in the offing?

Don'cha just LOVE those hidden burdgeoning lawsuits?
nice GRRR, btw.

Hang in there...take a page from BoyCat and stretch out for a spell.
He's teaching by "example"...LOL.

Good post.
Look forward to your upcoming series.

Stay safe out there.

The Bug said...

Cats are so funny - I'll bet when YOU want to cuddle they're nowhere to be found.

Love your note to the groundhog & I echo your sentiments exactly.

Mission accomplished - I laughed. :)

Ann T. said...

Dear CW,
That's me!! There's always a typo somewhere, or a shoelace untied.

Ann T.

Ann T. said...

Dear C.L.,
It's past time for a chuckle around here!

It's snowing again, but you'd still call me a piker, sitting where you are!

Thanks for writing in!
Ann T.

Ann T. said...

Dear Bob,
Augh!!! She is a walking lawsuit waiting to happen, in more ways than one. Some of them I'm even afraid to commit to paper (or electrons).

As to the stressed person,
she is luckier than she knows.

The Board gave her a pretty free ride!

Thanks for writing in! As you see, I am catching up!


Ann T. said...

Dear The Bug,
You are SO right about the cats. It's like--I WUZ SLEEPING, Awright????

They crack me up.

And I'm glad you got a laugh! Thanks for writing in!

Ann T.

The Observer said...

Ann T:
Zombie Ass is just that--new ZB should be warned, although a good ZB will recognize her immediately and she will have to change or die...

Your cat is funny--mine just look at me funny when I leave if it's too early for their tastes. As if to say, "Excuse me, where are you going?"

Great, funny post. Take care and stay safe out there.

The Observer